The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own.
No apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on, or blame. The gift is
yours – it is an amazing journey – and you alone are responsible for the quality
of it. This is the day your life really begins. ~Bob Moawad
Since starting on my path of purpose in encouraging others it requires a great deal of self-reflection and oftentimes taking my own advice. It’s not effective to help others without some personal self-reflection. I only have 1 rule regarding my blog and that’s only to post when content comes in the form of an inclination or strong spiritual sense to relay messages inspired by everyday life. I don’t have any prewritten content which leads me to how this posting came about.
For almost 2 weeks God put it on my heart to share my personal story, and allow anyone who reads this blog to get to know me on a more authentic and intimate level. I really struggled with the idea of having to share all of my personal pain and growth, so I delayed this posting in hopes that something else would come, a few ideas came and went but I knew in my heart they were forced. So now here I am in a spirit of obedience for today’s post.
Life: It was a beautiful day Sunday February 25th 1995, the air was crisp, the sun was shining bright and it was the kind of morning that when you wake up all seems right in the world. Reality came quick for my sister and me as we arose to my father knocking raptly on our bedroom doors; urging us to wake up. He advised us to call our grandparents and tell them to come over as soon as possible. Soon the house was filled with relatives; we all stood hugging one another hand in hand surrounding my mom’s chair struggling to conjure up our final good-byes. This was it, the day my mom would lose her battle with cancer a day that would be etched in my mind forever. As she sat with an oxygen tube running out of her nose I remember seeing her smile as though she was seeing angels. That smile slowly faded and with that she took her last faint breath which would release her from the years of suffering and pain in her fight against breast cancer.
Forgiveness: Just when it seemed things couldn’t get any worse after the loss of my mother several months went by and my dad went on a downward emotional spiral and found refuge in narcotics. As a result of the drug usage he began to have hallucinations and became physically abusive to my sister and me. Living in our home at the time was like a prison, never knowing what it would take to set him off on the next tangent. Thankfully my mom taught me how to pray and I remember praying every night for help to come for my sister and me. It did on a day of my Father’s worse fits and my grandparents got custody of us and we stayed with them until we went off to college.
I had deep resentment towards my dad for many, many years. I had sworn to never forgive him for all the hurt, pain, and disappointment he caused for me and my sister.Fast forward some years later and I’m sitting in an African-American studies class and something we read prompted a discussion on forgiveness. There was a young lady in my class that had pain, hurt and frustration oozing out of her. She had made up in her mind to harbor feelings of hurt and resentment because of some things that happened to her; I remember telling my classmate that as long as she held on to the things people had done to her she would forever be an emotional hoarder and could never live her best life. From that conversation stemmed my “Aha” moment and I realized I was no different.
I called my dad that night we had a very candid conversation and I told him I forgave him for everything. Our relationship is still a work in progress and recently my dad has turned his life completely around. I’m so proud of my dad; he has been clean for over a year, took a leap of faith and moved to a new state & transformed his life into an awesome redemption story. This is when I first learned what it meant to truly forgive. The best way I can describe it is the ability to look at the person who hurt you, disappointed you, or let you down and the only emotion you feel is love. (*Smooches Dad Love Ya!)
My Lesson to Share: That’s my story in a nutshell I’m sure as I continue to blog even more personal experiences will be shared. Oftentimes people who know their purpose never really share the “why” behind their passion. There’s a saying that goes “find the thing that you hate most, and that’s where your purpose lies”. The thing I detest the most is when excuses replace execution. I hate to see wasted potential contained by excuses of circumstance, excuses of resource availability, excuses of the who done its, excuses of time, excuses, excuses excuses.
It doesn’t matter how ugly the situation may seem or what the situation is; the one thing we all have is the power of choice. We have the ability to choose our paths and define our futures. It doesn’t matter what you’ve lost or gained, whose hurt you in the past or who will hurt you in the future, or the dark places you’ve been…you have the power to create a masterpiece for your life; each stroke designed by the choices you make in life; what you have to realize is that you are the artist. No one else can paint this picture for you.
I’ve been in dark places in my life; crippled with fear, hopelessness, grief and pain. There are days I wish my mom could embrace my son Caleb, meet my awesome husband, meet my friends, attend birthdays and all the awesome activities during my life.
What I have chosen to accept is this was not the path created for me. It’s not easy some days are still hard but I think it’s awesome that my heavenly father knew that even after loss and pain he could trust me with his light to be seen by others. He designed me especially for this purpose; he endowed me with some serious faith, paired with optimism and action; those 3 combined create the perfect ingredients for what I am calling the strongest “cocktail” for life. He knew that even grief could not conquer my heart, and block his light for and in my life.
He has endowed you with your own ingredients for a strong “cocktail” for life. What are your ingredients..faith, strength, witnessing, spoken word, writing, helping others, humour, stubbornness, determination the list goes on & on. Your ingredients help you handle the experiences of your life. Don’t lose sight by thinking you are defined by circumstances instead know you are defined by the choices you make in handling whatever life throws your way..and that is all up to you.
Today’s Recode Message:
ReCode from Excuses to Execution
My Masterpiece is a YES! towards life